At least this beauty regimen is cost-effective!
While many of us prefer to buy our beauty products at the store, single mom of two Tracy Kiss would rather hit up her friend’s penis instead.
According to the health enthusiast, she has adhered to a strict diet of semen smoothies and facials to maintain her youthful glow. Ms. Kiss also believes her all-men regimen protects her from getting sick with the flu.
“I’d been feeling run down and had no energy, but now I’m full of beans and my mood has improved.”
But wait, how does Tracy accumulate enough sperm if she’s single? Beauty bloggers can’t hit up sperm banks for donations, right?!
Believe or not, the fitness trainer was able to convince her good friend to donate a fresh container of his sperm three times a week.
HA! We hope Kiss gifts her pal with more than a Starbucks gift card for Christmas this year!
As for the healthiness of her friend, Tracy went on to assure fans his baby butter is more than up to par:
“I know he’s healthy, doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs and I made him have an STI check.”
Oh, and while you might think a semen smoothie might not be very tasty, the beauty guru has no problem drinking it “straight” depending on what her bestie has eaten that day. Otherwise she likes to mix some fruit, seeds, coconut or almond milk into her semen concoction which she drinks first thing in the morning.
Elaborating on her unconventional recipes, Tracy revealed:
“Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating. If he’s been drinking alcohol or eaten something particularly pungent like asparagus, I ask him to give me a heads up so I know not to drink it neat. Things like pineapple and peppermint make it taste better, but I’ll happily take it straight off a spoon usually.”
But wait, there’s more! For those of you interested in perfecting the art of the semen facial, check out one of Kiss’ tutorials (below)!
P.S. It’s important to note multiple doctors have refuted Tracy’s claim that semen can protect a person from the flu. But it might make you feel better. If you’re into that sort of thing.