You knew this fucking list was coming. I mean, none of these should be a surprise. If you find yourself sitting on a couch this weekend, debating whether wings or pizza will ruin your diet more, just go ahead and eat both and know that you need to work out triple hard for the rest of the week.

Heres our guide of what you like, actually, really should avoid. I mean, nothing is going to be too healthy, but these offenders are the worst of the bunch.

1. Fully Loaded Nachos

I know, I know; we would create a religion centered around nachos if we could. But that doesnt mean theyre good for you. Tortilla chips loaded with chili, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, and God knows what else can weigh in at about 900 calories PER GODDAMN CUP. Not kidding. Try sitting quietly with your dignity and a few tortilla chips with salsa.

2. Queso

Goddamnit, we love queso, but it doesnt love us back. When you melt Velveeta with chili and/or Rotel, you get a delicious concoction of velvety perfectionperfectly coating any vessel we use to transport it into our mouth-holes. However, just ONE SHOT GLASS of queso is about 100 calories. Have you ever had only that much queso? No; youve likely eaten enough for a family of four.

3. Mozzarella Sticks

There seems to be a cheese trend here. Fried mozzarella sticks are loaded with saturated fat, enough sodium to give you sausage fingers, and the same amount of calories youd find in a Big Mac. Skip these and, if you must have cheese, find a peel-and-eat mozzarella stick in the fridge. Sit with your shame.

4. Meaty Pizza

This one makes every list for unhealthiest shit every time. Namely, Papa Johns The Meats Pan Crust pizza. Two slices will set you back 920 FUCKING CALORIES. Thats almost your whole day. Oh, AND, 54% of those calories are from fat. Enjoy the slow build-up in your arteries and ever-widening waist if you eat this shit. Pass.

5. Soda

We have an ongoing love affair with Diet Coke, but we recognize that it isnt fucking great. Not only are all sodas full of sugar or some scary substitute, but theyre full of calories. Unlike when you eat something good for you, like salad, those calories dont fill you up. SO WHATTA YOU DO? You eat just as much as normal. Fuck you, soda.

Skip these Super Bowl foods, or get your ass to the gym HOW BOUT DAT.

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