Betches have been known to go pretty hard during the Super Bowl. I mean, aside from the fact that at some point we all Googled Which teams are playing and how old is Tom Brady, we really enjoyed the game, along with every Bud Light and deep-fried mozzarella stick we regret this morning.
Yup, you over-ate at your Super Bowl party and sweatpants are all that fit you right now. Was it worth it? Probably not. Will you move on with your life? Eventually. If you spent last nights game eating your way through the nacho bowl and drinking a gallon of beer, you probably woke up this morning feeling like shit, so here are some tips to help you detox and de-bloat today:
What To Eat: Omega-3s
The worst thing you can do for your body today is avoid all food until you pass out at your desk at 4pm. I mean, its only Monday. Lets save the drama for later in the week. Instead, eat small meals throughout the day, and make sure they include Omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3s are found in foods like salmon, walnuts, and flax seeds, and theyre proven to reduce inflammation in your body and help speed up your metabolism.
What To Drink: 2-3 Liters Of Water
If waters not your best friend today, youre doing it wrong. Dont be scared that water makes you feel bloated or more full, because thats called WATER weightright now your body’s running on water, but once all the water’s used up, you’ll drop 10 pounds like that! Drinking a ton of water the day after pigging out on salty foods will ensure that everything in your system gets moving again. It also helps avoid mindless snacking on any leftovers that may be lying around, so start chugging.
What To Avoid: Fake Sugars
Skip your usual three Splenda packets in your Venti this morning, and stay away from any foods that have fake sugars or sweeteners in the ingredients. Were talking about shit like xyolitol, mannitol, sorbitol, and other words you cant pronounce. Fake sugars are terrible for your digestion, they make you crave unhealthy foods, and they can only cause more cramping and bloating when youre not feeling great. As much as it may pain you, put down the Diet Coke.
What To Watch For: Fiber
Any healthy betch can go on for hours about how AMAZING fiber is for your body. It helps keep you full, helps your digestion, and like, overnight oats with berries just look so cute in a mason jar. Today more than ever, ignore that friend. Fibrous foods like brussels sprouts and broccoli are obviously good for you, but eating too much fiber when youre feeling fat will actually have the opposite effects on your body by puffing you up and making you feel even more bloated. Eat some veggies, but dont fuck up your digestive system while you’re at it.